Charity Begins at Home – December 4-5, 2004

Charity Begins at Home

‘Tis the season for trying to get something for nothing again. I get literally dozens of calls from solicitors trying to get money for numerous charities, all good, of course, but if I gave to everyone for everything, I'd be the one asking for charity & out on the street.

I got a call from a Registered Massage Therapist, let's call her E for short. Seems E is very busy and she needs someone on a regular basis to exchange massage with. I was to make a series of appointments to go to her place, for free mind you, in exchange for her ministrations. Massage therapists aren't known for giving full body massages as I do through reflexology, so the exchange was already lopsided. I'd have to go to her place, take time off to do it, and not get paid to boot.

Being the kind of person I am, I agreed to a first meeting at my place, the following morning, stipulating that she phone me at 9 am and she made an appointment to see me at 10:30 am . She agreed to call and come to my place. Come Sunday morning, no call and no show. She called about an hour after the scheduled appt. & laughingly excused herself since she had an emergency client, no doubt a paying one. Apparently, she didn't feel the need to call me to cancel or reschedule and I should understand her sense of entitlement, the “me first” syndrome. I laughingly replied that since she is so busy she aught to be able to pay for services such as mine. She told me she did lots of exchanges, to have a good day and hung up never having answered my question.

I've always been a person who tried to please everyone else but that all stopped about the 2 nd year into the reflexology and even more so today since hypnotherapy. I've improved and evolved to the next level where I don't use people as doormats or take it out on the first available clerk who can't fight back. I don't use people to get them to do things I want them to, unless I pay them, of course, to do a job for me. Don't you know you can't control anyone but yourself? I know just from common courtesy (it is uncommon today) that you phone and cancel if you make an appointment and if it had been with a clinic or doctor, a $25 fine would have been added to the bill. It's not selfish to value yourself enough to charge for services that you had to learn and pay for.

Not only does charity begin at home, it begins with what you say to yourself and what you believe about yourself. I believe that you do teach people how to treat you and I've just learned another lesson in charity and probably taught one too.

Don't forget that I had to pay to take the courses and work to get the certificates. It didn't come cheap and those are trade secrets. You don't go telling everyone how to do something that you had to pay to learn. If everyone knew how to do it, they could do it themselves there would be no need for RMT's, reflexologists, doctors or physicians. That's not the case, of course. It's easier to have someone massage you than to massage yourself although either is possible and both should be incorporated into everyone's lifestyle.

Isn't there something really offensive about the fact that it was expected that I should do this willingly, at her convenience, neglecting my own clients and availability which counts for a lot in my business. I'm here now and people know I am and they don't have to wait 3 months to get an appointment. Believe me, when you're in pain you can't wait that long to get relief. Again, it's that sense of entitlement and superior attitude that came in loud & clear. Knowing and appreciating what the massage business is like should have given E more understanding than what she showed. I was to be at her beck & call. She didn't care whether or not I missed clients or lost money on that deal. It would have been great for her, not so great for me.

SO folks, charity does begin at home by valuing your work enough that you make people pay for it thus your work is appreciated. You simply don't give it away just like you don't “waste the pretty” on some loser guy who “just isn't that into you.” Remember that people appreciate something more if they actually earn it on their own and pay for it. If they get it for free, there's really not much appreciation there and it isn't valued for what it's worth and it's only worth what someone's willing to pay for it!

Remember, if something sounds too good to be true, it isn't.

December 5, 2004

Danielle's Reflexology & Hypnotherapy